From the Orange Rhino:
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Good morning! It seems that people are
really figuring out some major triggers, which is courageous and great…even
though I know it is also frustrating and uncomfortable! But…
“Change
will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves
for who they are.” ~Bryant H. McGill
Seeing your real triggers, especially
the uncomfortable ones, will help you change and yell less. Sure, you might not
be able to get rid of some of the big triggers all together but you will be
able to label it, change your response to it, and then yell less. And there
will most definitely be some triggers that you can get rid of by preparing and
problem solving, ie. rushing in the morning. That was a huge trigger for me and
now I spend 5 minutes the night before preparing and it has made all the
difference.
“Everyone
thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ~Leo
Tolstoy
WRONG! You all have been looking at
yourself and thinking of changing yourself. You all have been looking to see if there
is something you can change in yourself before you change your kids, your hubby or your
environment, and I say toot your rhino horn for that!!! TOOT!
TODAY’s
THOUGHT:
“Celebrate what you want to see more
of.” ~ Thomas J. Peters.
LOVE this quote. LOVE it. Did I mention
that I love it? For so many reasons. Mostly because when I celebrate the good
stuff, I feel more good stuff happens. When I celebrate my kids cleaning up,
they clean up more. When I compliment my husband for making the bed, he does it
more. When I celebrate any moment I chose not to yell, I feel better.
TODAY’S
ACTION:
As you track your triggers and count
the times you yell ALSO count the times that you DON’T YELL. CELEBRATE the
moments that you don’t yell. Make orange exclamation marks on the tracking sheet
when you don’t yell. Do a YIPPEE party dance when you don’t yell. SHOUT out in
joy “I did it!” when you don’t yell. Start celebrating folks, it will build
your self-confidence and keep you seeking more.
Share a good moment here:http://theorangerhino.com/
Password: icanyellless
There is no celebration too small! Use
this post to feel good about yourself because honestly, that feeling is so
contagious!!
As this project continues, please
remember that these blog posts are there to give you a place to journal and
process your thoughts. But please, do not feel stressed or guilty if you don’t
have a chance to write. I know many people benefit from them greatly but also
people make progress on this journey just by thinking about the actions and
quotes. Do what YOU need to do to not feel overwhelmed but inspired and
motivated!!!
Have a great day,
The Orange Rhino
Here was my comment back when I was on Day #4...I thought you might benefit from the conversation I had with The Orange Rhino then:
ReplyDeletefrom me:
I have a question. I am feeling so much happier and less stressed since I’ve started the challenge this week. What I’m wondering about is this…
I approached this not only to curb my yelling, but to curb my feelings of frustration and anger, because I feel I’m in that “negative” mood way too much. So I’ve been tracking my triggers for getting annoyed and for responding in a “Mommy is so tired of this nonsense” way–even if I haven’t raised my voice. I don’t like making my kids feel like I’m always frustrated and annoyed with them. So, I’ve been trying to decrease my frustrations and my frustrated responses, not just yelling (but that too). Do you think I’m trying to cure too much? Should I be trying to JUST work on the yelling part for now? I haven’t felt like that was my PRIMARY issue, but that DEFINITELY needed to go too (especially considering the one major yelling episode I had with my teenager last week).
Any ideas are appreciated :) ! Hmmm…as I think about it, I believe ANY goals in this regard are worthwhile, I just want to make sure I haven’t set my bar too high.
Reply ↓
The Orange Rhino on March 1, 2013 at 12:16 am said:
I think it’s fabulous that you are wondering if it is too much because too much for a lot of people is a huge trigger! I will say this. I too was often annoyed and tired and negative before I stopped yelling. When I stopped I truly became lighter and happier and it impacted all the negativity. But elminating the really negative source (yelling) some of the other stuff fell in place. I say focus on one thing at a time and some other things might gain clarity because I learned that yelling is related to a lot of things. So by default – wondering why you yell and working on that bit will solve 2 problems at once. Does that make sense? Ie. If you find you are always in a negative mood because you don’t get enough exercise (my example) and that makes you yell well…in order to yell less you might realize you need to exercise more. A win win….
Reply ↓
Jennifer on March 1, 2013 at 2:11 am said:
I see what you mean, thanks for that insight. I have been feeling so much happier lately, and I agree that my negativity is diminishing. Awesome!
AND…today I had zero yelling, woohooo! When I felt frustrated, I resorted to softening my voice for emphasis (in place of yelling), and it totally worked. The kids tuned in to what I was feeling, and it was so great how they responded to my softer voice. I LOVED it!!! Thanks for encouraging the celebrations, this is empowering and uplifting!