Day #8: Medium Trigger

From the Orange Rhino:

Good morning! It is great that everyone (yes, everyone, I am doing my own work alongside you, albeit on a different topic) is thinking and pondering how they can learn to yell less. But it is hard work and perhaps mentally exhausting or even emotionally draining! The next two days are dedicated to practicing not yelling (or yelling less) during a medium trigger.  

TODAY’s THOUGHTs:

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~Frederick Douglass

“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” ~Oprah Winfrey

My point? This process is hard and you might struggle. Maybe not, but perhaps a little bit. But that struggling is progress and is making you stronger. The struggle might feel like a big pain but it is actually a good thing! I firmly believe I am a stronger person than I was a year ago. All this teaching myself to learn to not yell has improved me beyond just becoming a non-yeller. So as you practice these next few days, know that it is all worth it!

TODAY’S ACTIONs:

1. Pick a second trigger to work on. I suggest a medium-sized one – one that needs more thought than you wish but not so much thought you are scared to tackle it! Perhaps it is on the children’s behaviors that IS typical for his/her age but still can be a struggle (bath time, getting out the door on time, not cleaning up.) Or perhaps it is a trigger that gets to you ever so often but not all the time, like P.M.S. or a messy kitchen.

2. Brainstorm ideas with someone (spouse, mother, friend) to create a plan to try for the next two days. Write it down so it feels real and keeps you on track. Have alternatives for yelling in place. I.e: Trigger: Refusing to eat dinner. Plan: Offer at least one food each child likes as part of meal (Tacos: Child 2. Black Beans: Child 1. Corn: all). Alternative: Use orange napkins at meal time as reminder to stay calm! Back up if nothing works ;)--Tell myself out loud that I can yell less and that if I think clearly I will find a solution that works!

3. Share your trigger and your plan in this post. I read recently that having a plan for attacking a “bad habit” makes it so much easier to do so. So…what’s your plan?

http://theorangerhino.com/30daychallenge/2013/03/04/day-8-medium-trigger/

password: icanyellless

One of my biggest kids' typical behavior triggers is getting out of the door on time. My plan is always to prepare what I can beforehand, to give warnings, to help or guide if needed (instead of assuming they can always do it, they are just kids after all) and then if we are running late to tell myself “stay calm or you will move slower.” It isn’t a perfect science but knowing that having a mental game plan of how to handle this trigger does help keep me calm!

As you practice resolving this trigger today and tomorrow, remember that the whole point is to figure out how to handle it and how to create a plan to have in place when things go haywire! If you do yell, tell yourself you are just learning and then brainstorm a new idea. Brainstorm new alternatives to have in place to keep you calm.

Good Luck!