Days #18 & 19: No Dwelling Allowed!

From the Orange Rhino:

Last night I posted “10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling At My Kids.” Only 10? Oh I learned so much more. One of the other things I learned is that I spend a lot of time dwelling on mistakes, dwelling on problems, dwelling on everything! And that dwelling always keeps me stuck in a rut instead of enjoying the moment. And while I dwelled, especially if it was on a mistake, I often started thinking negatively about myself and telling myself that I can’t do things. This was pretty much a bad plan if I wanted even a chance to get through the day without yelling!

Why do I share this? Because I remember my early days of the Challenge when I had 7 days of not yelling under my belt and then for whatever reason I lost it. Absolutely lost it. It took me three days to go all day again. Why did it take so long? Because every one of those days I thought about my mistake; I told myself I couldn’t do this; I told myself that I had failed. The next day I woke up and said “Today is the day! I am going to re-start today and I CAN do it.” I kept telling myself that about every 5 minutes. I emailed and texted my friends the other every 5 minutes. But I made it through that day. And the next and the next. I stopped thinking I couldn’t do it and started telling myself I could.

So if you aren’t doing as well on this challenge as you hope, tell yourself that you can do it, that you want to do it. You will get there. Remember, it’s a process and it’s all about yelling less. LESS.

TODAY’s THOUGHTs

“It’s not about what you’ve done 


It’s about what you’re doing

It’s all about where you're going


No matter where you’ve been


Let’s go!”
~Lyrics from “Let’s Go” by Calvin Harris

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~ Buddha

TODAY’s ACTIONS:

1.  If you aren’t already, stop thinking about “mistakes.” Let them go and instead focus on the moment right in front of you, right now. Take it one moment at a time. If you have to, write the mistake down and that tear it up to help you move on.  And then by saying “It’s over. Focus on the present. Let it Go.” Yeah, turns out I get to do this a lot in my life.

2. If you haven’t already, change your passwords to phone, email etc… to a positive “I can do this!” or “I will yell less.” Surround yourself with positive statements!

3. Think about your favorite 3 alternatives to yelling and share them: What is your favorite alternative to yelling when your kids are just acting up and acting their age…but it’s annoying? What is your favorite alternative when the reason you want to yell is personal? What is your favorite alternative when the kids aren’t behaving right and you need to stop behavior and teach a lesson lovingly and so they can really hear you? Share here:  http://theorangerhino.com/30daychallenge/2013/03/13/day-17-favorite-alternative/

Password: icanyellless

TODAY’s TIP:
If you find yourself getting all worked up, make a fist with your hands and squeeze. Or have some play doh handy!
Good Luck! Rooting for you as always!